


please, don't touch me!

by awastedream



Series: oiiwa series [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Soulmates AU, not yet lol, they're so pure someone help them bc I don't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awastedream/pseuds/awastedream
Summary: One day Oikawa tells Iwaizumi he has found his soulmate and bitter memories form the past pops up into Iwaizumi's mind all over.





	1. Chapter 1

In this universe, every single person has a soulmate. People are born with a destined mate waiting for them or that will be born for them. A mate that would love them unconditionally, a mate that would understand and connect with you in every way, a mate that you would have a love that’s very deep and strong. That's what most people want to believe.

Soulmates do exist, but not everybody is lucky enough to find their destined mates. Some people are waiting for their destined mates for years, some people found them next door and some people could never meet with them. Some people are lucky enough to find them and some of are not.

Oikawa's parents were one of the lucky ones. They met in high school and when they were college students they realize they're each other's destined mates and since then they've been living an almost perfect life. They have a relationship that was blessed by heaven. Growing up while watching their perfect love Oikawa always wanted something like that. He wanted and yearned for a love like that.

Iwaizumi's grandfather wanted his mother to marry with his father and because his father couldn't find his mate and his mother had a one-sided mate they agreed to marry each other. Love had never existed in their relationship, if their relationship was made of something, then it would be nothing other than "respect." Hajime wasn't a loved child, neither was his older brother. Hajime and his brother, Hideki, never knew how it felt like being loved. Their parents were good ones, they took care of them very well, but couldn't show them the love they needed.

That's why Hajime grew up hating the thought of destined mates, he saw how much pain it caused, what kind of a family it becomes if people are not together with their destined mates. And there even is something as a one-sided mate, which means you could love someone, they could be your mate, they could read your minds with skin to skin touch but you could never be their mate. That was what happened to his mother, Hajime didn't even want to imagine how painful it was for his mother.

And that's why Hajime doesn't want to fall in love, that's why Hajime doesn't want to believe destined mates exist....Because it only brings pain.

 

                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

 _"Iwa-chan,"_ Oikawa said. _"I think I met my mate."_ He didn't look at Iwaizumi's face, but Iwaizumi could sense the excitement and happiness in Oikawa' voice.

Oikawa has met his destined mate and he was so happy because of it and Iwaizumi couldn't do anything other than wish the best for his best friend.

Iwaizumi had prepared himself for this day, he knew someday Oikawa would say something like that to him and when that day came he wanted to wear a sincere smile and hope happiness for him and everything would be okay... in theory, at least.

He had years to prepare himself, he even thought about this moment over and over again in his mind, but reality was much more painful.

 _"Is that so?"_ Iwaizumi asked and he tried to hide the pain in his voice.

 _"Yes~"_ Oikawa said happily. He was looking too happy, so much that his eyes were shining with happiness.

 _"Well, who's that unlucky person?"_ Iwaizumi asked. He really didn't want to know anything about this person. He really didn't want to hear their name. He didn't want to see how much Oikawa was in love with this person. All he wanted to do was run to his home and be in his bed.

 _"Iwa-chan, don't be rude."_ Oikawa said and pouted but not even Iwaizumi’s mean comments about him could ruin his mood. His eyes were shining even brighter than before.  
  
  
 

                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

Iwaizumi realized the friendship between him and Oikawa was changing to something else when they were in the second year of middle school. It was one of those rare days that they didn't have practice and Oikawa didn't beg him to go to a court and train more to make himself "even stronger" is his own words, but "worn out" is what Hajime calls it. Wearing himself out is what he does, but he is too stubborn to accept it. Iwaizumi would support him and let him train more if Oikawa knew when to stop, but that boy wasn't aware of the fact he was human, and humans do get tired.

  
They were walking home together, just as they always did since they were seven years old. Iwaizumi still remembers the day he met with Oikawa like it had been yesterday. It wasn't a good day to remember for him, but the fact that he met Oikawa that day made it somehow better.

Iwaizumi was six years old and was very mad and sad about the fact that their neighbours, that Hajime loved very much, was moving out. Hajime and their neighbour named Moriya Chihaya were very close. Moriya Chihaya was 15 years old, the same age as his brother, but Hajime was closer with him than with his own brother.

Moriya wasn't only a nice neighbour to Hajime, he wasn’t just a playmate or a replacement for his brother. Hajime knew him since he was born, Moriya was already living next door when his family came with Hajime from the hospital, he was spending most of his time in Hajime's home because both his parents were working, he was too young to stay home alone and because their families were friends Hajime grew up with him.

As time passed Moriya became even more of a special person to Hajime. His love for him developed into something else. Moriya was his first crush. Hajime's first crush was a boy that lived next door, at that time he wasn't even aware of the fact that it was something "abnormal" for many people.

And then they suddenly moved out. Hajime didn't know why they moved out so suddenly like that or why they cut off all contact. It was too weird, both families were really close, there wasn't a fight or anything, on the contrary, they were even planning to go on vacation together.  
  
  
 

                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

Hajime learned the truth behind this after years when his brother moved out to go to college. His brother and Moriya Chihaya were actually dating and each other's destined mate. The person Hajime liked and wished to be together was his brother's destined mate but Moriya's family was against them, they weren't accepting the fact their son's destined mate was another man and they said "A man's destined mate can't be another man! It's just impossible and wrong."

And they move out to end the relationship between them, but once you meet with your mate, you can't be with someone else, you can't love someone else. After their 19th birthday, they moved together and are living a happy life together now. Moriya's family still doesn't talk with him and Hajime is still a little bitter about it, but he is happy because his brother found his mate.  
  


                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

Two weeks after Chihaya and his family move out, a new family moved into that house. Hajime was very mad about it, he still couldn't get over the fact he couldn't see his precious person any longer and as if that wasn't enough there would be new people in that house. New people would be sleeping in Chihaya's room.

Hajime didn't want to be around when these people were moving in so he run to the park he often played with Chihaya. He missed him too much, not only because he was his special person but also his favourite playmate. Hajime's brother didn't like playing with him, all he cared about being his studies and volleyball.

Hajime was even starting to hate volleyball for taking his brother from him, he wanted to have a great relationship with his brother, a relationship that no one could break but after Chihaya move out, his brother's mood became even worse than before, there were times that he only went out of his room to go to school. He didn't understand why Chihaya's moving out affected his brother that much. In the first place they didn't even seem like they were close, but Hajime didn't put too much thought into it. After all he was too young to see everything clearly.

The park was empty, there were only a few kids that were probably close to his age but they looked much older than him. He didn't see any of them around the area before so he didn't go to their side to play. He wasn't good at dealing with new people even when he was six years old and he didn't want to play anyway. He only came this place to hide, he only came to this place to not see people he doesn't know coming out of a house that he knows very well.

Then Hajime saw the other kids picking on a pretty looking boy that again was probably of the same age as him, only because they thought he had a too pretty face for a boy and they wanted to know if he really was a boy. They were trying to pull off his pants. The smaller boy was fighting back but he stand no chance against three kids that were much stronger than him.

Hajime normally would ignore this because he promised his mother and Chihaya that he wouldn't pick any fights anymore. (He had a not so good past about it. He was only six years old, but already had a name in the street along with "troublesome kids.")

When he was much younger, he learned that if he wanted his parents’ attention he could do only two things. One: be a good kid, or two: be a troublemaker; but his brother had already taken the "good kid" position before he was even born. His brother was almost perfect. He had a handsome face that he got from their father and a perfectly tanned skin from his mother. His eyes were green like a forest just like his grandfather, it's not like Hajime was ugly, but it was as if his brother took all the good genes from the family.

Hajime decided to become the troublemaker of the family; at that time he even thought that all families needed one. Now Hajime looks back and laughs at how childish he was. All he wanted was his family to give him as much attention as they gave his brother. They weren't giving their love to either of them, but their attention was always on his brother because he had a high IQ. He was their hope, and the best thing they ever did.

Hajime felt like his parents didn't care about him as much as they did about his brother even now, but it's something he got used to with time. It's not even something he would cry over like he did when he was five.

Now Hajime looked back and realized why he loved Chihaya that much and it's because he was the very first person that made Hajime feel loved, wanted and important. Maybe Chihaya saw him only as a little brother but he did love and care for him and that was all that mattered to him.

Hajime promised Chihaya that he wouldn't cause any trouble for anyone, he would be a good person and study hard and he wouldn't back down from his promise just because Chihaya moved away.

He didn't even have to open his mouth to make the bully kids scared and run away. The only thing he had to do was walk towards them and say "stop" and they were already running away, which was a surprise to Hajime because even if he used to be a "troublesome kid" he never use violence, not even once. The most troublesome thing he ever did way running away from home and not come back until sunrise.

But for some reason he doesn't understand, the kids were afraid of him, it could be because of the way he stare at them, but he had no idea how his face looked like most of time so he could never be sure about it.

 _"Are you okay?"_ Hajime asked. The kid wiped his tears away and fixed his pants then nodded his head, he didn't speak, but Hajime could see he was dead scared of those boys.

He felt a bit sorry for him but didn't say or do anything to comfort him because he wasn't good at it and he had no idea which words could make that kid feel safe _"Everything’s okay now,"_ Hajime said and hugged him tightly _"you're safe now."_

They stayed like that for a few minutes then Hajime realized he had to go to home or his mother would complain again.

 _"Goodbye."_ Hajime said. _"Take good care of yourself."_ he added. It probably wasn't the first time that he was getting bullied and he wished from bottom of his heart that it would be the last one.

A part of him wished he could be with him all the time and project him from all bullies but he thought he was a stranger that didn't live in the area just like the other boys and walked towards his home. He thought he wouldn't be seeing the boy ever again.

Hajime was too busy thinking of himself and being hurt by his only friend suddenly moving out that he didn't even realize he and that pretty boy were walking in the same direction until he saw his house, at first he thought he was following him but when he stopped at the front of the house that he knows well, Chihaya’s house; he realized he would be seeing this boy more often than he thought a few minutes ago.  
 

                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

The day Iwaizumi realized the sudden change between him and Oikawa was nothing special in fact. He wouldn't even notice his feeling becoming different if he didn't touch his skin accidentally.

They were walking home together but Oikawa was in a hurry because he wanted to be at his home as soon as possible; his father had bought all Star Trek movies for him, Oikawa had already watched them all, but he didn't have a collection and now that he did he wanted to have a Star Trek marathon and of course it would be with Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi wasn't a big fan of space movies if he had any saying in choosing, then he would absolutely choose monster movies, but it's not like he could open his mouth and say he didn't want to watch these movies all over again.

Oikawa would complain nonstop and be a real pain in the ass if he dared not to go and watch them with him. And he didn't need a pain in his ass. Plus the movies weren't that bad.

 _"Iwa-chan, be a little faster."_ Oikawa said and grabbed Iwaizumi's hand to drag him. The weather was hot so Iwaizumi had rolled up his shirt sleeves, Oikawa touched his bare skin. His back was turned to Iwaizumi.

 _"Shut up and be thankful I'm actually willing to watch these movies again for once."_ Iwaizumi thought.

 _"Iwa-chan~"_ Oikawa said, back still turned to Iwaizumi. _"I know for a fact that you actually love Star Trek."_

Iwaizumi jerked in surprise, he was looking at Oikawa with wide open eyes.

 _"What the hell was that just now?"_ Iwaizumi thought.

 _"Uhmm,"_ Oikawa turned toward Iwaizumi _"did something happen, Iwa-chan?"_ Oikawa asked. His face looked like he was confused.

It made Iwaizumi mad because he was the one that should be confused, not Oikawa.

Iwaizumi pulled his hand away from Oikawa.

 _"It's nothing."_ Iwaizumi said. _"If you want to watch them with me we have to hurry because I have a lot of homework."_

Iwaizumi had a few ideas about what just happened, but he didn't want to think in any of them. He didn't want any of them to be the answer.

  
                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

 _"Iwa-chan..."_ Oikawa said, but Iwaizumi didn't seem like he had heard him, he seemed like his mind was somewhere else. _"I-w-a-c-h-a-n~"_ Oikawa said again.

 _"Ye-ss?"_ Iwaizumi asked. His mind was full of old memories. He didn't want to remember those memories at the moment because they made him weak.

 _"Are you okay?"_ Oikawa asked, he seemed like he was worried.

 _"Yes, I am!"_ Iwaizumi said and try to brush it off _"When will I meet with your soulmate?"_ he asked but regretted asking it right away, Oikawa's soulmate was one of the last people he wanted to meet.

 _"Oh, you want to meet with them?"_ Oikawa asked. Somehow he was shocked by the question.

 _"Do you not want them to meet me?"_ Iwaizumi asked. This was the only reason he could think could make Oikawa made that expression.

 _"No, Iwa-chan,"_ Oikawa immediately fumbles to explain _"it's not like that."_ Oikawa try to hide his eyes from Iwaizumi. _"I just thought you wouldn't want to meet them because I know you're against the thought of soulmates."_

 _"Shitty head,"_ Iwaizumi laughed, he didn't know his best friend had a wrong thought about him. _"I'm not against soulmates."_ Iwaizumi sighed. "I _just don't want to believe that there is only one person for us."_

 _"I know why you don’t want to believe it,"_ Oikawa wasn't sure if he could say this or not, saying this would probably hurt Iwaizumi but he didn't want to keep it to himself _"but it's a nice thing Iwaizumi. I know you saw the worst part of it but trust me even someone like you would want a love like that."_

Iwaizumi didn't say anything because he knew no matter what Oikawa wouldn't understand his worries; he wouldn't understand how painful it was. Iwaizumi didn't say anything because he had already found his mate, but it's not the love Oikawa was talking about.

He doesn't feel like heaven had blessed him with a great love. He feels more like heaven had cursed him with a one-sided love for his best friend that found his mate.

 

                                                                                                {~~~~~*~~*~~~~~}

 

Becoming friends with Iwaizumi Hajime wasn't something easy at all. On the contrary, it was even harder than handling bullies at school and the park.

Since the day Iwaizumi Hajime saved him from bullies, he had become Oikawa's number one hero. He wanted to be like him. Be strong like him, be good like him. But although Hajime always helped him when he needed it he didn't play or even talk with him.

Oikawa wanted to be his friend, his close friend, his best friend.

They were not only neighbours, but they also went to the same school so Oikawa had a lot of chances to watch him closely, learn some things about him.

The first thing he realized about him was how popular he was and how he didn't even realize it... Hajime wasn't very popular among the girls, in fact, most of them were scared of him, which is something Oikawa liked a lot, but almost every boy in the school wanted to play with him, be in the same team with as him.

Oikawa had too many rivals and no rivals at the same time, although boys wanted to be Hajime's friend so badly, he wasn't letting anyone get too close to him.

Oikawa wonder why he was building so many walls around him and the more walls he built the more Oikawa wanted to crush them. Once Oikawa wants something he never gives up until he gets it and this time it would be the same.

Oikawa Tooru would be Iwaizumi's best friend, no matter what...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)
> 
> can't wait
> 
> but now pls stop texting me so I can do my hw
> 
> don't stay up too late
> 
> bye
> 
> From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)
> 
> bye Iwa-chan
> 
> you see tomorrow °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

The very first thing Oikawa realized about Iwaizumi was that he wasn't a very chatty nor friendly person. It was very difficult to get his attention, he didn't ignore people around him or the boys that wanted to play or talk with him on purpose.

Iwaizumi was the kind of person that was good at every sport, natural athletes, he had talent for sport and that's why everyone wanted him to be in their team. Iwaizumi didn't seems like he was interested in any sports, he was good at sports but he didn't want to play in a team. Seemed like he didn't want to be part of a team.

At the first, Oikawa thought it was because he wasn't a team person, but after watching Iwaizumi for a while, he understood it was only because he was a shy person and he didn't know how to be part of a team.

Iwaizumi was only seven/eight year’s old kid, but he had walls around him that not even he could destroy. Oikawa wonders what kind of childhood Iwaizumi had, his parents were good people, they treasured their children and they were taking care of them very well, Oikawa could tell that, but he was also aware of the fact that there was something missing in Iwaizumi family.

Iwaizumi's older brother Hideki Iwaizumi, from what people said, was an almost perfect person. He was older than Iwaizumi by nine years and there was coldness between Iwaizumi and his brother for some reason, Oikawa couldn't understand why.

Oikawa thought it could be because of the age difference between them, but Oikawa's older sister Akiko was the same age as Hideki and Oikawa was very close to his sister. Maybe not all siblings were the same, but Oikawa felt like it was more than that. That there was a reason behind their coldness and he felt that it was hurting Iwaizumi so much. The more he wanted to be closer to his brother, the more Hideki put distance between them.

Maybe that's why Iwaizumi had walls, maybe that's why he didn't want to have friends, because he was afraid. His own brother didn't want to be with him, why would a stranger want to be friends with him? It might be what Iwaizumi had been thinking all along.

The thought that Iwaizumi might be feeling like that made Oikawa hurt. "He must be feeling so lonely." Oikawa thought, he didn't want someone as good as Iwaizumi to feel like that. He was a good and kind person, Iwaizumi Hajime deserve to feel loved and wanted. Oikawa swore that he would give Iwaizumi all the love he needed and deserved.  


 

                                                                                                                      {*****~~*****}

 

Becoming friends with Iwaizumi Hajime wasn't an easy thing, honestly it was tougher than Oikawa thought it would be. It had been almost five months since they had met when Oikawa had his first real talk with Iwaizumi. Being neighbours and going to the same school, on top of being classmates as well helped him a lot to get close to Iwaizumi. And it was as if the whole universe wanted them to be friends.

Even after months, Iwaizumi was still not fully comfortable with Oikawa, Iwaizumi felt like he would say or do something wrong; Oikawa could feel his uneasiness, and Iwaizumi's uneasiness was making Oikawa feel bad because he felt like he still wasn't enough, he still didn't show him enough love to make him comfortable with him.

All he wanted was to get closer to him, since the first moment Oikawa saw Iwaizumi he became a special person for him. Not only because Iwaizumi saved him from bullies like a knight but also there was something that Oikawa didn't know how to name yet.

The first thing they really talked about was Iwaizumi’s old neighbours, people that lived at Oikawa's house before them. The first real thing Iwaizumi talked about himself was of a person Iwaizumi liked a lot, he talked about his old neighbour with great admiration in his voice, great admiration that made Oikawa burn with jealousy.

He didn't want to listen to how amazing that boy named Moriya Chihaya was, not at all, but if he said that he didn't want to listen to stories about Moriya Chihaya or listen to him talking about another boy then Iwaizumi probably wouldn't get why, Oikawa himself didn’t understand why he felt so sick, and then Iwaizumi would think he is bothering Oikawa and would shut his mouth and never open it again.

After coming this far, after Iwaizumi felt close enough to talk about someone he cared for so much, Oikawa didn't want to risk it; he felt sick, but he would listen to Iwaizumi's every word about him.

 _"He was a really good person."_ Iwaizumi said, again and again. He said this a few times, Oikawa had to try so hard not to sigh. _"....he was as like a brother to me."_

The word of brother made Oikawa feel relieved, for a moment he thought this person was someone more special for Iwaizumi than a brother or a friend.

 _"Maybe more than a brother..."_ Iwaizumi murmured but Oikawa could hear him. He heard him clearly.

All he could think was that what he feared the most was true, this person named Moriya Chihaya was Iwaizumi's first crush or maybe even his first love. Oikawa felt pain in his chest.

Oikawa was seven/eight years old only, love was something he knew from television programs and his parents. It wasn't something he himself had experienced, he hadn't have a crush on someone, he hadn't loved someone, until he met Iwaizumi Hajime.

 

                                                                                                                      {*****~~*****}

 

  
It had been almost two weeks since Oikawa told Iwaizumi about him founding his soulmate, but since then he didn't say anything about it; he didn't even talk about his soulmate, which was something too weird coming from Oikawa, because Oikawa Tooru was a person that never shuts up, especially not about himself.

Iwaizumi was in a dilemma of wanting and not wanting to know Oikawa's soulmate. He wondered who his soulmate was, what kind of person they were, when did they meet, how did Oikawa know that person was his soulmate.

 _"Hey, Shittykawa."_ Iwaizumi said, Oikawa turn towards to him.

 _"Yes, Iwa-chan?"_ Oikawa asked. Oikawa was walking ahead of Iwaizumi and waited until Iwaizumi caught up him.

 _"I was wondering,"_ Iwaizumi sighed. He didn't want to seem like he was too curious about his mate, if Oikawa sensed his curiosity, he would brag about it forever.

On second thought, _"Never mind,"_ Iwaizumi shook his head _"it wasn't something important."_

But it was too late, Oikawa had already sensed that something was up, _"Iwa-chan~"_ Oikawa said flirty, _"Tell me what you were going to say?"_ Oikawa asked and give Iwaizumi one of his most beautiful smile.

 _"I told you, right?"_ Iwaizumi shrugged _"It's nothing."_ Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa's back. _"Come on, let's get moving, we have tons of homework to do."_

Iwaizumi started to walk, he was walking fast, he wanted to get to his home as soon as possible and ran away from his mistake. Wanting to ask questions about Oikawa's soulmate was a mistake because he wasn't sure if he could control his emotions, his facial expressions, he wasn't sure he could hide his jealousy from his best friend, from the one person that knew him best.

Oikawa not realizing his feeling until now was a miracle and he knew for a fact that he shouldn't push his luck.

 

                                                                                                                      {*****~~*****} 

 

The people around them, like Matsukawa and Hanamaki, already knew about Iwaizumi's feeling for Oikawa, probably half of their teammates knew already.

Iwaizumi wanted to think that he was good at keeping his feelings to himself, hiding them perfectly and so nobody realized his feeling, but in reality it wasn't like that.

The ugly truth he was always afraid of became real and he felt like it was a bucket of cold water to the face.

It wasn't different from any other day, they were at practice but on a break; Iwaizumi didn't even thought he did something different than any other day, but probably that was the whole point. He would catch himself looking at Oikawa; he wasn't doing it because he wanted to, but because it became a habit for him and it was then that Hanamaki started to talk about something Iwaizumi didn't want to be voiced by anyone.

 _"You know, I think it's time you confess to him."_ Hanamaki said, he was wearing an expression that seemed as if he was talking about something ordinary.

Iwaizumi was drinking apple juice and almost choked _"What the hell are you talking about?"_ Iwaizumi asked, his voice was low, his coughs had already drawn enough attention, he wasn't looking at Oikawa but he could feel his eyes on him, and if he showed any anger he would come to his side immediately, and Oikawa getting involved with this talk was one of the last things Iwaizumi needed.

 _"Don't try that,"_ Hanamaki warned him, _"not with me"_ he sighed like he was too tried _"the only person you're fooling is yourself."_ Hanamaki's face was kind of sad, as if he pitied Iwaizumi. _"Anyone with eyes can see the way you're looking at Oikawa. Why don’t you try it? I doubt he would refuse you, he is pretty much okay with anyone as long as they breath and aren’t someone he is currently hating."_ Iwaizumi wasn't sure if Hanamaki was trying to cheer him up or trying to make him feel even sadder.

Trying to play dumb was useless after that, Iwaizumi didn't know he was that obvious about his feeling that anyone with eyes would be able to tell.

But if that was true, why didn't Oikawa know them yet? Or maybe he did realize but was playing dumb for sake of their friendship. Oikawa tried his best to be friend with him Iwaizumi, who wasn't an easy person to get close to and he absolutely didn't make things easy for Oikawa, but he never ran away or gave up until they had become friends. This is also why Iwaizumi doesn't want to do something that would hurt the bond that they had worked years to build.

 _"That’s exactly why I'll never say a word to him."_ Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa, he was talking with Yahaba, probably again something related to Kyotani, Yahaba was good at handling him, way better than Oikawa. _"He is such a kind person that wouldn't refuse anyone because he doesn't want to break their hearts and he would date them and try to make a relationship work even if he doesn't love his partner. I know him, if I confess my love for him, he would accept me and he would try to make thing work with me."_

Iwaizumi sighed. _"But you know this guy wants a relationship like his parents and it's not something I could give to him. And if he meets with his soulmate when he was with me, he wouldn't dare to break up with me because it would break my heart."_ Iwaizumi looked at Hanamaki. _"I would never do that to him."_ Iwaizumi said and walked towards the showers.

 _"What an idiot."_ Hanamaki murmured.

 

                                                                                                                      {*****~~*****} 

 

When they became 3rd years they made a rule that they wouldn't go to each other's home on days that they have a lot of homework because somehow they would find themselves playing video games in the middle of studying.

But it seemed like today was an exception, because Oikawa walked out of his house and was coming towards to him. Iwaizumi had opened the door with his key because his mother was working at this hour and wouldn't be coming until night, just like his father, and his brother had already move out when he became a college student. Right now his brother was working at a well-known company with a huge salary and lived in a luxury apartment with his mate in Tokyo.

Iwaizumi had been at his brother's apartment a few time, he was with them the last two summer breaks, his relationship with his brother got much better after his brother went to college.

Sometimes, Iwaizumi thinks the reason why there was coldness between them was because Hideki didn't know how to show love to his brother, but after living with his mate and learning about love everything became easier for him and he started showing his brother how much he cared about him.

He cared so much he even offered Iwaizumi to come and live with them when he went to Tokyo for college. Iwaizumi was accepted into a good medical school in Tokyo, the college was very close to where his brother was living and he asked Hajime if he wanted to live with them.

At the first Iwaizumi didn't think it was a good idea to live with the person he used to have a crush on, but when he saw how much his brother wanted him to live with them, he couldn't say no and it seemed like Chihaya also wanted him to live with them.

When Hajime said yes, they both looked so happy that Hajime even felt guilty about not accepting the offer the minute his brother asked him.

The worst part was telling this to Oikawa, they were planning to live together since they were both going to college in Tokyo, different colleges in the same city; living together would cover the time they would lose.

But the fact that they wouldn't be living together the first year of college was making Iwaizumi feel relieved, he thought that maybe this could give him a chance to put an end to his feelings for Oikawa. They would hardly see each other and the distance would be good for Iwaizumi.

Thinking like that was making Iwaizumi feel bad since Oikawa was genuinely sad because they couldn't live together.

Oikawa was more sad than mad when Iwaizumi first told him about it. He didn't even talk to him for weeks, but by the end of the 3rd week, Oikawa came to his room and said he was happy for him. He was happy for him because he knew how much it meant to Hajime that his brother wanted him to live with them.

Iwaizumi never really talked about his brother, but Oikawa had always known how much Iwaizumi wanted to have a close relationship with his brother and it was only because of it that Oikawa accepted, but only with the promise that after a year or maybe two if he was in a good mood then, they would look for an apartment together because Oikawa wanted to live together with Hajime at least a year of their college students life.

He wanted to have memories with Hajime as housemates.

  
                                                                                                                      {*****~~*****}

  
_"Oikawa, what are you doing?"_ Iwaizumi asked. _"Hurry up and go to your house, we have tons of homework so I don't have time to play with you."_

 _"Rude as ever, Iwa-chan."_ Oikawa said. _"Don't worry, I don't want to come in, I also have tons of homework, math teacher didn't say anything last time because we had an important match but if I don't do all of them again, this time I'm a dead meat."_

 _"Doesn't sounds that bad."_ Iwaizumi said.

 _"Iwa-chan, isn't it a little bit exhausting to be so mean all the time?"_ Oikawa asked and pouted, sometimes he wonders what he did to deserve such an attitude, like he knew he pushed Iwaizumi's limits sometimes, but still.

 _"Nope, not at all."_ Iwaizumi said with a smirk on his face, seeing a fake pout on Oikawa's face somehow made him feel better.

 _"Iwa-chan your mother would beat you up if she saw your behaviour, she didn't raise you like this."_ Oikawa said and shake his head.

 _"Will you talk or I'm going inside."_ Iwaizumi said harshly. Hearing words like that about his mother made him feel bad because after his brother move out, his mother became someone that wanted to control everything.

Oikawa realized he was going too far. _"Sorry, I just wanted to finish the talk from before."_

 _"I told you right? It was nothing."_ Iwaizumi said. _"Let it go."_

 _"NO!_ " Oikawa yelled desperately, the way his voice sounded even surprised himself, then he grabbed Iwaizumi arms, Oikawa touched his bare skin again after such a long time.

After that day Iwaizumi realized Oikawa could read his mind, he didn't let Oikawa touch his skin, not even once.

Iwaizumi backed off right after the touch, he wonders if he was able to read his mind in such a short time period, there was an unreadable sadness on Oikawa's face.

 _"No,"_ Oikawa said again, this time his voice was much lower, but the despair was even higher. _"Just tell me what you were going to ask."_ Oikawa asked nicely with one of his most beautiful smiles, but even though it was a beautiful smile it was also fake.

Oikawa didn't have such an ugly smile, Iwaizumi had to admit, but he had so many fake smiles and he dare to show one of them to Iwaizumi, like he would ever buy it.

 _"How many times do I have to tell you? It wasn't anything important,"_ Iwaizumi tried his luck for one last time.

 _"Tell me."_ Oikawa begged.

Iwaizumi sighed. " _For fuck's fake, fine."_ he shrugged, _"I just wanted to ask about your soulmate you know, you didn't said a word about them and you can say I was getting kind of curious about them."_ Iwaizumi could feel his face turning red, he was feeling so hot, he was so embarrassed.

Oikawa let off a sigh, " _so it was about that huh?"_ Oikawa's joy was coming back _"You could just say so Iwa-chan~"_ he put his arm on Iwaizumi's shoulders, _"I will tell you about them, just be a little bit more patient."_

Iwaizumi could swear that for a moment he saw fireworks in Oikawa's eyes, even thinking about his mate was making Oikawa incredibly happy and was putting him in such a great mood, Iwaizumi felt like something was dying inside him.

Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa away, _"Go to your house and do your homework!"_ his jealousy was taking over him " _you said you’d be dead meat if you didn't complete them today, it isn't a bad thing in fact, but we wouldn't want you to die before you get together with your mate, right?"_ sarcasm in his voice was too heavy but he couldn't do anything other than pray Oikawa wouldn't notice it or that he would think it's because he was jealous of Oikawa having a soulmate and not of Oikawa's mate because they were Oikawa's mate.  
  
_"Of course, we wouldn't want that Iwa-chan."_ Oikawa said _"They would be SO sad."_

Iwaizumi was holding himself back with all his willpower as to not close the door on Oikawa's face. _"Start moving your ass, idiot."_ and Iwaizumi closed the door harshly.

His anger wasn't coming down and Oikawa's happy whistling sound wasn't of help.

  
{*****~~*****}

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Iwaizumi was ignoring Oikawa's texts and trying to focus on his homework for hours now, but that asshole was probably not going to stop until Iwaizumi answered him. Iwaizumi didn't want to answer his texts now, because he was still too angry, he was afraid that he might say something bad that would hurt Oikawa.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Iwaizumi picked up his phone angrily.

From: Iwa's charming prince ◟(◔ั₀◔ั )◞ ༘♡

Iwa-chan~ Iwa-chan~ Iwa-chan~

Iwaizumi almost threw his phone to the wall when he remember how much his phone cost, he calmed down. He didn't even noticed when Oikawa took his phone and changed his name. It could have been when he went to the bathroom and left his phone in his bag.

The real important questions was how did this guy even know his password? He choose such random numbers that sometimes even he forgot, so Oikawa wouldn't know. After he changed Oikawa's name, he would make his password Kageyama's or Ushijima's birthday so Oikawa would never guess it.

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

what do u want

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

Iwa-chan~

idk why but feel like you did something SO mean ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

just your imagination

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

omg you really did something ∑(;°Д°)

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

oikawa I have HOMEWORK

will you say what you want or I won't be answering you anymore.

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

Iwa-chan since when are you a good student???

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

your last chance

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

rude as ever~

I just wanted to say don't make any plans for tomorrow

I will let you meet with my mate

Are you feeling better now? o(≧∇≦o)

"Better my ass." Iwaizumi murmured, that's why he didn't want to ask Oikawa about that person, because he knew his friend would do something like that. And the worst thing is Iwaizumi couldn't run away from this because he brought this on himself.

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

can't wait

but now pls stop texting me so I can do my hw

don't stay up too late  
  
bye

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

bye Iwa-chan

you see tomorrow °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next will be the last one (I hope)
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know why Iwaizumi was in a bad mod suddenly?" Hanamaki asked. "Did you do something?"
> 
> "What? No, I did nothing!" Oikawa said, "I hope he gets in a better mood before the evening, surprisingly Iwa-chan told me that he is curious about my mate and I will make them meet after school."
> 
> "Hmm, Oikawa," Hanamaki said, "I'm sure you have your own reasons to act like this, but if you tease him more than this your plan will backfired."

When the alarm clock rang, Iwaizumi was already awake; in fact, he had been awake all night, he couldn't even sleep a wink the whole night, his mind was too loud to let him get some sleep.

But the good thing was he was able to finish all his homework and even start to write the essay that he had time to finish it until the end of the semester, and he had already written half of it.

And the bad thing was he over-thought about Oikawa's mate and what would happen the next day. He wasn't ready to meet with his mate, and worse he didn't know how to face him, he didn't know if he could show a normal expression, if he could give them his blessing without falling apart.

Because from what Oikawa said and how he acted, Iwaizumi realized something important: Oikawa's mate should be someone they both knew, or else Oikawa wouldn't look that happy and comfortable.

Oikawa didn't talk much about his mate, in fact all he had said about them is that the person was very nice and cared about Oikawa a lot, but the little things he had said about them and how Oikawa looked like when he talked about them were clear signs that this person was someone they knew, that he knew.

Hajime even tried to make a list of Oikawa's potential mate so he wouldn't look too surprised when they met the next day, but making a list was more difficult than he thought it would be, Oikawa was such narcissist, he was someone hard to get along with, hard to handle, hard to get along with, Oikawa might seem like he was type of person that easily made friends, but that was something Oikawa wanted people to think.

On the contrary, Oikawa wouldn't open himself to everyone, he wouldn't talk about serious things, about himself, he would hide his worries and pain in a box, he would rather die than show any weakness, and although Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew each other for a long time, although Oikawa called Iwaizumi his best friend, there were some times that he wouldn't open up to Iwaizumi either.

That's why thinking about potential mate was hard, thinking about someone that broke Oikawa's shield and got into his heart was very hard, it made Iwaizumi feel like he was defeated. Oikawa always said Iwaizumi had big walls around him but Oikawa's walls are were bigger than his and he doesn't even realize it. That's why his mate must be someone very caring and had such a huge power on Oikawa, a power that Iwaizumi never had.

He was the closest person to Oikawa up until now and the fact that someone would be closer to Oikawa other than himself, that someone would see parts of Oikawa that Iwaizumi never did, made his heart ache in a way that it was almost unbearable.

Oikawa was a popular person and had many relationship with girls and boys, but honestly, Iwaizumi was never jealous of them, not even once, because even when he was in a relationship; Oikawa always put Iwaizumi in first place, there wasn't even one time Oikawa put him in second place, he always had time to play video games or go out with their friends or watch stars wars for the millionth time with him. He always prefered to spend time with Iwaizumi than with his girlfriend or boyfriend. That's probably why his relationships didn't last more than a few weeks or they were only about sex.

But Iwaizumi also knew how Oikawa always desperately searched for his soulmate. He always knew that Oikawa needed a mate that belonged to him, a bond that could never be broken, and only because of this Iwaizumi had to be happy for his friend, he had to be happy that he finally got what he always wanted.

The alarm clock ranged again, Iwaizumi didn't want to get out of his warm bed, he was under his quilt but could feel the chill that was coming from his window, Hajime could lie about being sick and stay at home. Iwaizumi always took good care of his health, but a few days ago when it was heavily raining and he didn't have an umbrella he soaked from head to toe, he took a hot shower as soon as he was home but he still felt down, so him getting a cold wasn't actually a lie, just a bit of an exaggeration.

This plan could easily backfired because, although his mother wasn't a person that show much love to her kids, she became a totally different person when they were sick.

His mother becomes very caring whenever Hajime or Hideki got sick. She wouldn't leave them alone, not even a minute, would read them tales, cook their favourite foods and all; there were even times were Hajime and Hideki got sick on purpose so their mother would take care of them.

Now, whenever Iwaizumi thought about the past and how he hopelessly wanted some love from his mother it made him feel like he was pathetic, and he hated the part of him that was hungry for love.

Iwaizumi Hajime was so hungry for love and he had no idea how to satisfy it.

Lying about being sick wouldn't be good. Yes, it would make him gain some time to cool his mind, but he doesn't want his mother to be with him all day long, and Oikawa would drop by the minute he heard Iwaizumi was sick.

Oikawa was not too different from Iwaizumi's mother, he loved taking care of sick people, the thought that he was helping other people always made Oikawa very happy, Iwaizumi was pretty sure that Oikawa would become a doctor if he weren’t so good at volleyball, and he was also sure that he would be a great doctor.

 

                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

 

When the alarm clock went off for the third time, Hajime's mother was already in his room. Hajime was a very punctual person, and him not getting ready until now wasn't like him at all.

 _"Are you okay?"_ his mother asked. She came into his room right away, didn't even knocked at the door once, it wasn't something that his mother would normally do, she was a person that respect his privacy, so if she came into his room like this, then she must be really worried.

 _"Did you get a cold?"_ his mother asked again, and walked towards his bed, "last night you seems a little down," she was already holding a thermometer.

Hajime looked at his mother's face, he could clearly see the worry on her face, Hajime wasn't sure what caused his mother to be that worried about him, but he felt too guilty for making her worry for nothing.

Hajime shook his head, _"No, mom,"_ he try to get up quickly, _"I'm okay, I was awake all night to do my homeworks, so I'm still sleepy."_

 _"Oh, okay."_ the worry on her face was gone within a blink, and she came to her senses, _"but don't do that again."_ and she showed him her normal serious expression.

Hajime nodded.

 _"Get ready, you will be late."_ his mother said and left his room.

 

                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

 

Hajime got up and started to get ready slowly, there was no point in rushing, although his mother said he would be late, Hajime perfectly knew without even looking at the clock that he still had time to be lazy.

He went to the bathroom to wash his face, and when then got back to his room he saw an unread message.

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

Iwa-chan good morning ~

are you ready?

are you excited for today? (╯✧∇✧)╯

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

morning

yeah yeah

I'm so excited

see you at school

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

what??

"see you at school" ???

we're not going to school together? Σ(･口･)

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

not today

I'm still not ready

so you go first

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

IWA-CHAN ARE YOU OKAY? ミ（゜д゜○）

ARE YOU SICK?

SKIP SCHOOL IF YOU'RE NOT FEELING OK

MAYBE I SHOULD AS WELL

AND TAKE CARE OF YOU

IWA-CHAN PLS BE OKAY

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

calm down idiot

I'm okay

I couldn't sleep last night bc hws that's all

and I wouldn't want you to take care of me if I was sick

you're always making me even sicker

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

I see I see

Iwa-chan is more than "ok"

but if you're ok then I don't see point of not going together

I can wait for you

I can wait for you forever ~ ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

 _"Say that to your mate, asshole."_ Iwaizumi murmured.

To: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

see you at school

From: shitty head 凸(¬_¬)

／(x~x)＼

Hajime threw his phone on his bed and started to dress up, he couldn't stop thinking about the words Oikawa just said. Hajime read those lines in Oikawa's voice, he could hear Oikawa's voice in his mind.

Him saying those words to him, only to him, him meaning those words would be nothing but a dream to Hajime. A dream that Hajime knows would never come true, but no matter how many time he tried, he still couldn't kill the hope in his heart.

After all, hope is the hardest thing to kill.

                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

 

When Hajime finally dressed up again and was ready to go to school, he didn't have time to have breakfast, but he thought he could eat something in the school. As he opened the door he saw Oikawa standing next to a tree between their houses.

He was on his phone and probably texting someone, he was smiling all and all. Iwaizumi guessed that Oikawa was texting with his mate, and suddenly a huge amount of anger rushed to his brain. He didn't need to see this now, he didn't want to see this now.

 _"I thought I told you to go first."_ Iwaizumi said, his voice sounded angry even to his own ears, but he didn't care, he wasn't feeling well enough to try to control himself.

He already spent his whole night up thinking about Oikawa and his mate; he wanted to go to school alone because he wanted to use this time to cool his mind off, he wanted to use this time to forget about last night and how he felt, but of course Oikawa didn't listen to him and did as he pleased.

 _"Iwa-chan~, good morning again, you're as rude as ever."_ Oikawa said puting his phone in his jacket's pocket and he walked towards Iwaizumi. _"Did you really think I would go to school without you? I'm hurt, I'm going to school with you since I was seven and I’m not planning on changing this habit."_

 _"Well, you will have to change it once we move to Tokyo, so I don't see why we shouldn't start now."_ Iwaizumi said. He start to walk and left Oikawa behind him, he knew that those words might hurt Oikawa, but he didn't care, he didn't care because he wanted to hurt him.

He wanted to hurt Oikawa because of how dense he was, he wanted to hurt him because, although he called Iwaizumi his best friend, he didn't talk about his problems with him, he wanted to hurt Oikawa because although he says he knows Iwaizumi the most, he still didn't realize his feelings; he wanted to hurt Oikawa because he wanted to hurt himself the most, because after all if Oikawa was in pain then it would hurt Iwaizumi the most.

Oikawa run to catch up Iwaizumi, _"Iwa-chan, wait for me."_ Oikawa might be taller and have longer legs, but Iwaizumi was a fast walker, so if he didn't want someone to catch up to him, then nobody could.

 _"I won't wait."_ Iwaizumi said. _"I won't wait anymore."_

 _"What do you mean, Iwa-chan?"_ Oikawa asked, Iwaizumi was walking ahead of him, but he still could hear all of Iwaizumi's words.

Iwaizumi didn't even realized that he said that out loud, he actually said it and he was very surprised with himself; yes, he wanted to say that aloud, but no, he hadn't planned to.

 _"I-I mean,"_ Iwaizumi had to make up an excuse before Oikawa realized something was wrong, _"I mean I have a math exam today, and I wanted to check my notes one more time before."_ Iwaizumi said, it wasn't a complete lie, he did have a math exam, but he didn't have to check his notes one more time, he had already studied enough for his exam.

 _"Iwa-chan became such a good student,"_ Oikawa said, _"it's a waste that it's the last year."_

 _"I always was a good student, Shittykawa, unlike you."_ Iwaizumi said.

" _Iwaizumi Hajime, you know that’s a lie, I'm a perfect student"_ Oikawa could finally catch up to Iwaizumi, they were walking next to each other now, just like they always did, _"I always was, let me remember you the times that you wanted my notes."_ Oikawa said with huge pride in his voice.

Iwaizumi chuckled, _"It was one fucking time and it was because I couldn't go to school, I was sick and you were the only one person I could ask for the notes."_

Iwaizumi had been avoiding looking at Oikawa face all the way since he saw him standing in front of his house, but when he side glanced at Oikawa, Iwaizumi could swear there was a genuine smile on Oikawa's face after Iwaizumi said he was the only one person he could ask. Iwaizumi didn't understand why those simple words made Oikawa so happy he showed such a smile, but then Iwaizumi realized he was looking at his phone.

 _"Of, course."_ Iwaizumi whispered to himself, his voice was so low that he couldn't even hear his own voice. _"How stupid of me."_

Thinking that Iwaizumi could be the reason for Oikawa to show such a genuine and loving smile was too stupid, even for Iwaizumi.

After that, Iwaizumi didn't say a word for the rest of the way until they parted ways to go to their own classroom. Oikawa probably sensed something was up, but the tension was high and he didn't dare making everything worse. Oikawa didn't understand why, but Iwaizumi suddenly looked sad; Oikawa wanted to ask why, he wanted to talk about this, but he knew himself well enough to know he may say something that will make Iwaizumi even sadder and he thought staying quiet would be the best for them, for the moment at least.

 _"See you at lunch break, Iwa-chan~"_ Oikawa said, he hoped that Iwaizumi would look his way at least but he didn't, he nodded and went inside his classroom.

 _"Well, at least he agreed to meet at luck break."_ Oikawa said to himself and walked toward his classroom.

Hanamaki and him were in the same classroom, Matsukawa was in the one right next to theirs and Iwaizumi was at the one at the end of the corridor.

 _"Troubles in paradise?"_ Hanamaki asked with a sarcastic tone.

 _"Sometimes I really don't understand Iwa-chan."_ Oikawa said and sat on his chair.

Hanamaki laughed, _"Iwaizumi is one of the easiest persons to understand, that I know."_

 _"It's because, it's you, you don't understand him, it's just he doesn't feel like he has things to hide from you."_ Oikawa said, he knew Iwaizumi and Hanamaki got along, and that hurt him a lot, there were things that Iwaizumi talked about with Hanamaki so easily but not with Oikawa.

Iwaizumi always said that they were best friends and there shouldn't be anything they couldn't talk about or that they couldn’t tell to each other. Iwaizumi didn't do that himself, but expected Oikawa do it.

 _"Makki, you're like Iwa-chan's dairy."_ Oikawa said.

 _"Eww!! I don't want to be called Iwa-chan's diary, it's pretty gross, even for me and please stop making that jealous face."_ Hanamaki said. _"It's not something you should get jealous over."_

 _"Of course I'm jealous, for god's sake, I should be the one closest to Iwa-chan."_ Oikawa said, his dead serious face was making Hanamaki feel even more sorry for them, _"Today, he didn't even want to come to school with me, avoided looking at my face, was ruder than usual and stopped talking to me suddenly, he wasn't saying nice things but still."_ Oikawa said.

 _"By the way, Hanamaki, don't call him, Iwa-chan ever again."_ Oikawa said. _"I'm the only one person that’s allowed to call him that."_

Hanamaki sighed, _"These two big idiot."_

Hanamaki wondered if Matsukawa and him were idiots like them, probably not. Even if they were, he doesn't even want to think they were hopeless like them, like every single things about Oikawa and Iwaizumi was too dramatic, everyone called Oikawa a drama queen but Hanamaki thought Iwaizumi was no different.

Mastukawa and him started going out after Hanamaki broke up with his boyfriend, their relationship didn't work out although they were destined mates. Hanamaki always knew the fact that just because someone was your destined mate and you could hear their thoughts it didn't means you two would have a perfect relationship.

Hanamaki also wanted to explain this to Iwaizumi, but Hanamaki was aware that Iwaizumi had a big complex about destined mates. He knew how Iwaizumi thought that if you were not with your mate, you couldn't be happy because he grow up in a loveless home, Iwaizumi always thought it was because their parents didn't love each other and weren't each other's mate and with his brother sudden change, after he start to live with his mate, it all seemed to prove Iwaizumi right.

He told Iwaizumi to have a heart to heart talk with his brother, but he was too stubborn to talk with his brother about the old times, they both wanted to leave the past behind and start a new chapter in their lives. Hanamaki would support this if Iwaizumi could leave his anxieties and scars behind him as well, but there were still things inside of Iwaizumi's heart that needed some answers.

This is why Hanamaki tried his best to make the relationship work, but they were too different, and in fact his boyfriend always tried to change Hanamaki, he was such a serious person, had serious people around him and he wanted Hanamaki to be serious, just like them. But the person he wanted Hanamaki to be wasn't himself, he didn't want to become such a person and he broke up with him after going out for almost six months.

The good thing was that their break up wasn't painful for either of them, they didn't really love each other, if they weren’t mates, they wouldn't have even dated. They weren't in each other's hearts, so getting over him wasn't hard for Hanamaki and Matsukawa was always right next to him to support him. He really didn't need any support, but he couldn't say this to him, Hanamaki liked how Matsukawa was always willing to be there for him. Hanamaki liked how Matsukawa was looking at him.

 _"Do you know why Iwaizumi was in a bad mod suddenly?"_ Hanamaki asked. _"Did you do something?"_

"What? No, I did nothing!" Oikawa said, _"I hope he gets in a better mood before the evening, surprisingly Iwa-chan told me that he is curious about my mate and I will make them meet after school."_

 _"Hmm, Oikawa,"_ Hanamaki said, _"I'm sure you have your own reasons to act like this, but if you tease him more than this your plan will backfired."_

Oikawa looked at Hanamaki with wide open eyes, he was clearly in shock, " _I don't understand what do you mean Makki-chan~"_

 _"Cut off the crap, Oikawa."_ Hanamaki said, _"You are not fooling anyone, you idiots are too alike, I won't say anything but seriously don't tease him too much, he is more sensitive than you think."_

Oikawa's shocked expression suddenly got serious, _"Hanamaki, you don't need to worry, I know what I'm doing."_ Oikawa said with a smug smile on his face.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi might be two idiots, but they were lucky idiots, they knew each other the best, they understood each other the best and they were each other’s mates. What they had was probably a relationship that was blessed by heaven.

No need to lie, sometimes Hanamaki was jealous of their bond, their relationship, he wished to have something like that with Matsukawa as well, but he knows althought him and Matsukawa weren't each other's mate, what they had was still special and they loved each other very much, and they didn't need to see each other's thoughts to know what they were thinking.

 

                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

 

When Iwaizumi didn’t come around on the first break, Oikawa doubted Iwaizumi would keep his promise. There wasn't a time he didn't, but Oikawa knew today was different, today Iwaizumi was different than his usual self and that's what Oikawa feared.

Oikawa had realized Iwaizumi's feeling for him a long time ago, he couldn't even believe this was happening, he couldn't believe his wildest dream would come true. He always knew that he was special to Iwaizumi, but he never dared to hope for more, he couldn't dare to want more. Him being his friend, him willing to stay by his side although Oikawa was a selfish person was more than what he could ask for already.

And that's why he was too afraid to make a move, he wasn't sure he could be the one for Iwaizumi, he couldn't be sure if he could be someone Iwaizumi deserved because everyone knew that Iwaizumi was a great person and deserved nothing other than the best.

Not to mention Iwaizumi's complex about destined mates wasn't helping him either; Oikawa and Iwaizumi might be close, but Iwaizumi wouldn't feel enough if there wasn't such a bond between them.

And when he realized the fact that he can hear Iwaizumi's thought when he touches his skin, Oikawa thought, god might be his side, but after that Iwaizumi build a wall between them and didn't let Oikawa touch his skin again, Oikawa couldn't understand what's with this change until he hear about one-sided mates.

After that Oikawa realized that might be the reason why Iwaizumi was building a wall between them, being one-sided mates didn't cross Oikawa's mind even once, he thought there could be nothing one-sided between them. And even if it was that way, Oikawa didn't need a stupid and magical bond to hear Iwaizumi's thoughts, Oikawa could see what Iwaizumi was thinking when he looked at his face, Oikawa heard everything untold whenever he talked.

Oikawa didn't need a magical bond, but Iwaizumi needed one, or better, he needed to understand that the magical bond didn't mean anything if love wasn't part of the picture.

Taking Oikawa's parents as an example, Oikawa grew up while thinking his mother and father had a perfect relationship. He thought they were the best couple ever, he wanted to have something like they did, but right now they were middle of a divorce.

Oikawa still couldn't tell this to Iwaizumi, he had no idea how he should tell this to him because Iwaizumi always believed that if you're mates then everything would be perfect and if Oikawa told this to Iwaizumi then he would think that everything he believed was a lie and there was no guarantee of a perfect relationship, Iwaizumi would be even more scared of being in a relationship with him, that's why Oikawa had to wait all this time. He waited for Iwaizumi to be ready, he waited for Iwaizumi to hit his limit.

His past relationships might mean nothing to Iwaizumi, Oikawa knew Iwaizumi didn't feel jealous of any of his girlfriends or boyfriends but talking about his mate was much different than a lover, knowing about Iwaizumi's complex, today should be the last day Oikawa had to act like he didn't know anything....

What he was doing to Iwaizumi was cruel, and Iwaizumi probably would beat him badly, but Oikawa didn't care, he could let Iwaizumi beat his ass all night and he wouldn't open his mouth to ask him to stop, anything was fine as long as Iwaizumi became his.

Iwaizumi could easily run away if he felt threatened, if his secrets were threatened; Oikawa knew that's the main reason why Iwaizumi accepted living with his brother, he wanted to run away from Oikawa, he wanted to get over the feelings he had for Oikawa and he thought that staying away from him would be helpful. As if Oikawa would let that happen. As if Oikawa would let Iwaizumi love someone other than him.

 

                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

 

When Iwaizumi didn't go to see Oikawa during the first break or the next one like he usually did, Oikawa went to see him at his class, nobody knew where Iwaizumi was nor had anyone seen him.

Oikawa knew he couldn't do anything other than wait and hope that Iwaizumi would keep his promise; he could go and look for him and he probably would find him right away, but if Iwaizumi didn't want to see Oikawa, if he didn't want to talk with Oikawa, if he wasn't around because he didn't want to be found, then Oikawa decided to give Iwaizumi the time he wanted. He decided to give Iwaizumi a little space to make up his mind.

And then Iwaizumi showed up in front of his classroom at lunch break, Oikawa felt extremely relief. Iwaizumi was still looking a little down, but Oikawa could tell he wasn't sad like he was in the morning. He hoped to see him in a better mood, but this was enough for now.

 _"Iwa-chan~"_ Oikawa said and walked towards Iwaizumi, _"I thought you wouldn't come._ " the whole classroom could sense the happiness in Oikawa voice when he saw Iwaizumi.

 _"What are you talking about Oikawa?"_ Iwaizumi said. _"I promised, right?"_

This was the Iwaizumi Hajime he knew, this was his Iwa-cha, always keeping his promises no matter what.

 _"Can we go now? I'm starving."_ Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa took Iwaizumi's arm, he was careful not to touch his skin, _"Yup, let's go! I wouldn't want to see Iwa-chan die from hunger~"_

Iwaizumi let Oikawa drag him, he looked at Hanamaki "Aren't you coming with us?" his eyes almost seemed like he was begging him not to leave them alone.

Hanamaki shook his head, _"Nope, I have to help the teacher, so you two should go ahead."_

Both Oikawa and Hanamaki could hear Iwaizumi's silent curses.

  
                                                                                                                           ||~~*~~||

  
Iwaizumi was starving, but he didn’t feel like eating either, it was almost ridiculous how he was feeling down only because Oikawa wasn't smiling at him, his genuine smile wasn't meant for him.

 _"Iwa-chan, did something happen?"_ Oikawa finally asked, he didn't want to ask, but his curiosity beat him. _"Why are you feeling down?"_

Iwaizumi was playing with his food, he saw Oikawa's mouth moving, he was clearly speaking, but he couldn't hear what he was saying.

 _"Sorry, I wasn't listening,"_ Iwaizumi admit, there was no point in lying, _"Can you repeat one more time?"_

Oikawa was thinking all this time, this wasn't something serious, once he explained everything to him, everything would be ok and they would live happily ever after, but he didn't realize that his way of doing this was hurting Iwaizumi more than he thought it would.

 _"Iwa-chan, we have to talk."_ Oikawa said, he was feeling too guilt doing this to his best friend, to person he loved the most.

 _"If it's about your mate, we agreed that we would meet after school so can we not do this now?"_ Iwaizumi asked, he looked way too tried to talk, but somehow he still could move his mouth.

 _"I know I'm making you worry right now, but I swear I'm okay, I told you before I'm just sleepy, I will go to the infirmary and get some sleep."_ Iwaizumi sighed like it was the end of the world. "I hate to admit this, but maybe you were right and I should have skip school today." Iwaizumi pushed his food away and got up to go to the infirmary.

He wasn't lying when he said he needed some sleep, his body and mind need to rest a little, he wasn't looking for a way to escape, on the contrary, he wanted to meet Oikawa's mate more than before, he wanted to meet them, give them his blessing, wish them the best and kill the remaining hope in his heart, he wanted to show his heart to the ugly truth, he wanted his heart to face the truth and maybe then he could finally find the peace he longed for.

 _"Iwa-chan, when was your math exam?"_ Oikawa asked.

_"What?"_

_"I asked when your math exam was, was it during the second class?"_ Oikawa asked and then looked at his phone, it seemed like he got a message from someone, and he seemed like it was good news because he was smiling too brightly.

 _"Was it from your mate? The message I mean."_ Iwaizumi asked.

 _"Answer my question, Iwa-chan."_ Oikawa asked and totally ignored Iwaizumi’s question, he looked at Iwaizumi as if he was talking nonsense.

 _"Yes, it was."_ Iwaizumi said. _"Now, it's your turn to answer my question, was the message from your mate?"_

 _"Why do you wonder that? Why do you ask that?"_ Oikawa asked, Oikawa's expression suddenly got serious, just like how it did when he is on the court.

 _"If you don't want to answer then it's fine, say so,"_ Iwaizumi said, and started to walk away, _"Just don't play around with me."_

Oikawa quickly move to catch Iwaizumi's arm, _"What Iwa-chan doesn't understand is that I never play around with him."_

 _"What the hell are you doing, Oikawa?"_ Iwaizumi asked and try to get his arm but Oikawa hold his arm even harder.

 _"You told me that I might have been right about skipping school for today,"_ Oikawa said, he was wearing one of his nicest smile but Iwaizumi perfectly knew that it's also his fakest smile. " _and we're skipping school for today."_

Oikawa was dragging Iwaizumi with him out of the school, Iwaizumi had no idea about what was Oikawa thinking, why he was doing this, what he wanted from Iwaizumi; he tried to get away from him, but when he did Oikawa hold his arm harder.

Sometimes Iwaizumi forgot that Oikawa was almost as strong as him

 _"Where are we going?"_ Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa remained silent, it seemed like he didn't even heard Iwaizumi.

" _Hey, I said, where are we going?"_ Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa still remained silent, he only kept walking.

 _"OIKAWA, I SAID WHERE ARE WE GOING?!"_ Iwaizumi asked one more time, he couldn't even believe his own ears at that how loud he was.

Oikawa stopped for a minute, and finally looked his way, " _We're going to meet with my mate now, I answered your question, please just walk and be quiet."_

 _"What the hell?"_ Iwaizumi asked, although he knew he wouldn’t be getting any answer.

He couldn't believe that Oikawa was making him skip school to make him meet his mate. A part of him wanted to make him stop and say that he wouldn't be coming with him, he wouldn't be doing this his way, he had already agreed to meet with him, for god's sake, it was Iwaizumi who bought it up, he was the one that wanted to meet with his mate.

 _"Oikawa, let me go."_ Iwaizumi said.

_"I won't."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because, I don't want to let you go."_ Oikawa said, he was walking faster, as if they were in a hurry, _"And I said that you should be quiet."_

 _"I have no idea what you're planning to do Oikawa, but I'm getting mad."_ Iwaizumi said, Oikawa might be strong, but he still didn't stand a chance against Iwaizumi.

 _"I promise that I will explain everything to you, but be a little more patient- or not because we're almost there."_ Oikawa said.

 _"What--"_ Iwaizumi was ready to give him a good talk, then beat his ass, but he realized how familiar the road seemed, in fact, it was more than familiar, Iwaizumi knew this road very well, after all, he had been walking through this road since forever.

 _"Are we going home? Is your mate waiting for us in your house?"_ Iwaizumi asked, he didn't think that they would meet in Oikawa's house, it was worse than he thought. He wished he never got out of his bed this morning.

 _"Iwa-chan, you can't shut up, can you?"_ Oikawa asked, _"And I'm the one that gets called noisy, only if they knew."_

 _"Well, you know what people say about spending too much time together."_ Iwaizumi said.

 _"How perfect, it's all my fault again."_ Oikawa said, he was glad that now they were talking about something else and Iwaizumi was more like himself.

 _"But hey, please answer one more question and tell me, is your mate waiting for us at your home?"_ Iwaizumi asked. He was afraid of the answer to this question and he wanted Oikawa to ignore him one more time.

  
_"God, I can't believe how dense you are. I can't believe how you didn't realize this until now."_ Oikawa said, and stopped again, he pulled Iwaizumi closer to himself, _"Nobody is waiting for us at home, and before you ask I will say, nobody will come."_ Iwaizumi wasn't sure if his heart was beating like it was about to stop because Oikawa's face was too close to his or because of what Oikawa was trying to say, _"Because my mate is with me, my mate is right next to me"_ Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi really thought it was a dream, he was dreaming, he was probably sleeping at the infirmary and dreaming this because there was no way that this could be reality.

 _"What are you talking about? I'm not your mate, Shittykawa."_ Iwaizumi said. If it's one of Oikawa's sick jokes then this time he would kill him for sure.

 _"Yes you're! I know that you are, I can feel that you are,"_ Oikawa said, he closed the little space between them, they were in the middle of the road and Iwaizumi was in Oikawa's arms, the chance of someone seeing them like this was too high, and somehow this was all Iwaizumi could think about.

 _"Let me go, someone might be see us."_ Iwaizumi said.

 _"I don't give a fuck about others and I'm sure it's the same for you,"_ Oikawa said and hugged him tightly, _"Iwa-chan never cared for what others thought."_

 _"Oikawa, stop with this bullshit and explain to me what's going on."_ Iwaizumi said. _"Did someone make a bet with you? Is that why you are acting like this, if so tell me, I swear I won't punch you."_

 _"Iwa-chan, it actually hurts how little trust you have in me,"_ Oikawa said, he meant it, he wasn't joking about this, yes he loved to joke around but he could be pretty serious as well, and Iwaizumi should be the one that knew this the most.

 _"If it's not a bet then why are you doing this?"_ Iwaizumi asked. He wanted to believe what Oikawa was saying, he wanted to believe it with all his heart, but it was too good be true.

 _"I should explain everything, or else you won't get it."_ Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi's wrist and dragged him to his house, _"Come with me."_

Iwaizumi followed Oikawa, this time he didn't try to get away from him, and now that he knew that nobody was waiting at home he felt more ease.

As soon as they were in the house, Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi against the wall and kissed him on his lips, it was rough and neither felt like it was a real kiss, it was more like their lips met for a second. Iwaizumi almost fell on his knees after Oikawa kissed him, not because he felt good, but because he was too confused.

Iwaizumi touched his lips, where Oikawa just kissed him, it only lasted for a second but Iwaizumi could still feel him.

 _"Why?"_ was all Iwaizumi could ask.

 _"Because I wanted to,"_ Oikawa said, _"I wanted to do this for such a long time, I imagine this so many times that I lost count, in fact our first kiss was much better and romantic in my head, but we need some practice."_

Iwaizumi was looking at Oikawa with wide open eyes, there was no sense in Oikawa, nothing he said made any sense, "I don't understand you, I really don't understand you."

Iwaizumi was keeping a distance between them, Oikawa wanted to take him in his arms again, but before he had to explain everything, _"What's the thing you don't understand? I told you Iwa-chan, I want to kiss you, I want to hug you, I wanted to feel you for such a long time and I know it's the same for you."_ Oikawa sighed, _"Did you really think that I wouldn't notice your feeling?"_ Oikawa laughed bitterly, _"I've been chasing after you since I was six, I wanted to be the closest person to you since we met, it wasn't easy at all, you're not an easy person, but everything was worthy, I don't want to live a life that you're not a part of, you're the person that I want to grow old together with."_

Oikawa got closer to Iwaizumi, _"Please, let me touch you!"_ Oikawa begged, _"Please, allow me to touch you."_

Iwaizumi wasn't sure if today was real, he couldn't even believe his own ears, he couldn't believe the words Oikawa was speaking. He was saying that he felt the same way Iwaizumi did, he was saying he knew about Iwaizumi's feeling all along, and he wasn't mad or feeling like he was betrayed, on the contrary he felt the same.

 _"Please, stop."_ Iwaizumi begged him, _"I'm not your mate,"_ Oikawa was hearing his thought, there was no doubt about it but he wasn't, Iwaizumi couldn't hear what he was thinking when they kissed, _"I can't hear your thoughts when I touch you, I know you can hear mine, but I can't, and it hurts so much Oikawa, you have no idea, it's as if you were rejecting me."_

Iwaizumi felt like crying, he could feel his nose getting itchy, _"So, please, don't touch me!"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this chapter took longer than I thought I'm sorry I actually wanted to make this chapter the last one but after almost hitting 7k words and still have two more parts to write I stopped bc firstly my head was hurting and it would be bad for my beta. I hope this is a good chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Iwa-chan do you believe in soulmates?" fifteen years old Oikawa asked.

"Iwa-chan, look at me," Oikawa begged desperately, but there was no reaction from Iwaizumi again. He had been calling Iwaizumi’s name for minutes, almost hours by now, but Iwaizumi still wasn't looking at his face, he was in his own world; he locked himself in his own world, in his mind and there was no way to get into it if Iwaizumi didn't allow it. "Please, hear me out Iwa-chan." Oikawa looked at him hopelessly.

Oikawa hated himself for making Iwaizumi like this, Oikawa hated Iwaizumi for making himself weak and for not thinking he was even worthy. Oikawa wasn't used to seeing Iwaizumi like this, he wasn't used to seeing him that weak and small; in fact, he didn't even remember a time when he was in like that. Iwaizumi wasn't a person that was afraid to show his weakness, or cry in front of others because they would think lowly of him. No, he wasn't a person like that, he wouldn't be afraid to cry if he’s at his limits, he would cry if he knew it would fix everything, but he didn’t cry because he thought crying was pointless; but right now Oikawa can see the tears in his eyes and how he holds them back from falling.

Oikawa hated God for creating something like soulmates, and making Iwaizumi feel like this, but what Oikawa hated the most is how Iwaizumi was clearly in pain and there was nothing he could do. There were no words that would make Iwaizumi feel better, not because they didn't exist, Oikawa probably could think of something that would make Iwaizumi lift his head and look at him, at his eyes, but Iwaizumi wasn't in a mood to listen to Oikawa, to hear his words.

Iwaizumi was in so much pain that he could not see anything around him, he could not hear any voices, he was too focused on himself, his pain, he couldn't even see what was right before him, couldn't hear what was in his fucking mind. His world was falling down, being tore apart, the walls, which he built to protect himself, to protect the secret that he vowed to take to his grave, were destroyed by Oikawa.

Iwaizumi probably always thought Oikawa wouldn't notice his feelings although they were always together and knew each other for a long time; it sounds really absurd when you think about it. Like how can you even think that someone that knows you the best, someone that tried to be friends with you since you met, someone that always followed you around, wouldn't notice the fact that you've developing feelings for them? Oikawa didn't understand how the hell Iwaizumi even thought that, when all he wanted was for him to develop romantic feelings for him, Oikawa didn't remember since when he had romantic feelings for him, but he waited for a long time for Iwaizumi to fall in love with him.

"Iwa-chan" Oikawa try to reach Iwaizumi again, he was not going to let things like this and he was going to fight till the end, until Iwaizumi was ready to listen to him.

Oikawa took a deep breath, "Hajime," he said his given name; he hadn't called him by his given name since they were in junior high.

Iwaizumi winced after hearing his given from Oikawa's lips, from his voice. Oikawa hasn't called him by his given name since the day Iwaizumi asked him not to do it anymore, with only one exception.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

"I think you should stop calling me by my given name," Iwaizumi said, completely out of the blue, Oikawa didn't even know how to react to that. They were in Iwaizumi room and they were playing Mario kart; Oikawa hated the game, but he lost a bet to Iwaizumi and all he wanted was to play Mario kart, Oikawa was lucky in fact, normally Iwaizumi would make him do more cruel things, like once he even asked him to be his servant for a week, and it was a nightmare for Oikawa, he had to do everything Iwaizumi told him and if it had been for more than a week, it could have even ruin his image that he worked his ass off to build in school, thankfully the week ended before Iwaizumi realize what kind of power he had in his hands.

"What? What do you mean I should stop calling you by your given name, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, in fact Oikawa wasn't calling him Hajime so often, more like when they were with his friends, or when Oikawa wanted to get his attention, he loved calling him "Iwa-chan" more because it was only Oikawa that called him that, Oikawa was the only one person that was allowed to call him Iwa-chan.

In the school, it's was Iwaizumi for his classmates, it's was Iwa, for his close friends, it was Hajime for his family and it was Iwa-chan only for Oikawa, so not calling him by his given name wasn't a problem for Oikawa, but he felt like there was reason behind this, Oikawa felt like Iwaizumi was asking this because of a reason.

"You hear me, don't call me by my name when we're not alone, at least," Iwaizumi said, without taking his eyes off the game, he seemed like he was focused on the game, way too focused, almost like he was trying to not look at Oikawa on purpose

"Don’t call me by my name when we're not alone." Oikawa saw which was the problem now, well it was an expected thing, the two of them were closer than any other childhood friends, than any other friends, they even were closer than some couples around them, people were always telling them they had a really strong bond.

Their closeness was something people found cute when they were young, but now they were not little kids anymore, and because of that some people were looking at them with different eyes, when they acted like they used to do now people didn't find it cute, now it was something disgusting, wrong and sinful.

For a moment, Oikawa thought Iwaizumi also thought like them, then he felt bad for doubting Iwaizumi like that, he felt bad for thinking Iwaizumi would ever think of something like that. He should be the one to know the best that Iwaizumi would never think that, he would never think loving someone would be disgusting or wrong or sinful.

"Is there a reason Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, even though he knew Iwaizumi wouldn't slip out what the reason was that made him say that, he still wanted to try his chance.

Iwaizumi shrugged like it was nothing, "I just don't want you to" he was making an awfully cute face, Oikawa almost assumed he was telling the truth "You know people are looking at us, looking at you with a different kind of eye, so don't do it from now, OK?" Iwaizumi didn’t take his eyes from the game even once.

"If that's what you want, then it's fine," Oikawa said, then closed the game, he was so sick of playing that boring game and Iwaizumi wasn't giving him the daily attention Oikawa needed to get from Iwaizumi, "Plus I prefer calling you Iwa-chan, it suits you more."

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

It was at the funeral of his grandmother; her death wasn't a surprise, they all knew she didn't have much time left, but Iwaizumi still felt it was too sudden. He was very close to his grandmother, Iwaizumi always ran to her side when he felt sad, he didn't have to talk with her, she would understand how Iwaizumi felt with just one look.

Words weren’t needed between them, she was the only family member that knew Iwaizumi's feelings for Oikawa, she was the only one Iwaizumi talked to about Oikawa with. His grandmother was his dairy, his safe place, that's why he could never be ready to lose her.

Oikawa was with him all day long, he didn't leave his side even once, he kept telling him stories about something that Iwaizumi still couldn't remember, the only thing Iwaizumi remembers about that day was Oikawa calling him by his given name.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

Iwaizumi finally lifted his head and met Oikawa's eyes, "Don't call me by that name," he was getting so tried of his shit for real, "Why are you doing this to me? I told you that it hurts, it hurts so much that I can't bear the pain anymore," Iwaizumi's voice was rising but he didn't even realize how loud he was, " Is it fun to see me like this? Is it fun to see me breaking apart? What kind of sadistic asshole are you?"

"Yes, Hajime." Oikawa said his name again, it would be a lie if Oikawa said that Iwaizumi being in pain could be something Oikawa would like to see, "It's so much fun to see the person I love the most in pain," sarcasm in his voice was too heavily, "You have no idea how much I'm enjoying seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi whispered.

"I can't hear you, Hajime." Oikawa said, although Iwaizumi's voice was so low, Oikawa could hear him clearly.

"I said I'm sorry, okay?" he said like he was screaming, as if he was asking Oikawa if he was loud enough, "What I said was out of bounds, I know you wouldn't think so, ever. But please cut off this crap," Iwaizumi took a breath, he needed time, he needed time to think of something that could fix this shit and make everything go back to how it was hours ago, "Let's forget this, Okay? I think it's what's best for both of us, because you know;" it was making Iwaizumi's heart ache to say it out loud, but it's something he had to do,"we wouldn't work, even if you're saying you love me right now, your feeling could change with time."

Iwaizumi knows Oikawa's feelings for him are sincere, he can sense it in the way he talks, the way he looks at his eyes, it was different from before, they're more loving, they're softer, or they were always like that but Iwaizumi has never realize because he was too busy with his own feelings, but he's still afraids, even though he believed Oikawa's words, he also believed they're not suited for each other, there will be an end for them, and when that times comes, it won't be only their relationship that will end, they will also lose their friendship.

"I know you have worries, I know you are dead scared, I know you're looking for a way to run away, cause that's what you been doing up until now; running away," Oikawa sighed, he wanted Iwaizumi to get the fact that he won't let im end this, he won't let Iwaizumi end their love before it even begans.

"That's why I waited all this time, I wanted you be ready, I wanted to give you time, but the more I waited, the more you ran away, and got scared, and I don't want to wait anymore, our highschool life will end soon, Hajime, we all will start a new path, a new life, and I want to walk this path with you, please stop running away, please look at me, do you even have any idea how much I love you? How much I need you? How much I want you? For god's sake I'm holding my self back so hard to not push you down and make you mine."

Oikawa could feel his face getting hot, it wasn't something he meant to say, but when he looked at Iwaizumi's eyes, all he wanted was to take Iwaizumi to his room, and the fact that they're all alone in house was making everything worse for him.

Iwaizumi couldn't believe his own ears, when he saw how Oikawa's face turned red as if his face was burning, he felt the same hotness as Oikawa's on his own face; he never, not even once, thought that he would hear such words from Oikawa, he never ever thought that Oikawa would desire him, desire his body.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

"Iwa-chan do you believe in soulmates?" fifteen years old Oikawa asked, most of them already knew about destined mates, two people from their school had even met their mates, it was breaking news and the whole school was gossiping about them and telling each other how luck they were to find their mates at such a young age, after the class, they realized there was still something important that most people weren't aware of like how there wasn't a destined partner for each person and also there was something called one-sided mates.

Some people didn't have mates and some people were someone's mate but they weren't theirs. It was such a scray thought that someone could hear your thoughts, but you couldn't hear theirs, something like that must be very painful. Oikawa remembered how Iwaizumi's mother was someone's mate but that person wasn't hers, that person could hear her thought as if they were reading her mind but she couldn't read theirs no matter what; Iwaizumi once told Oikawa that they loved each other so much, but because what they had was one-sided it runined their relationship.

Iwaizumi talked about this only once, Oikawa knew talking about mates made him feel uneasy and sad, so Oikawa never talked about mates if Iwaizumi wasn't the one who Brought it up.

"Yes, I do." fifteen years old Iwaizumi noded and he contunie "I do believe in soulmates but I do not believe that I have a one."

To be honest, Oikawa was surprised to hear Iwaizumi believed in them, he always seemed like it was just something people wanted to believe and didn't really exist, but it turn out Iwaizumi believed in them, he just didn't think he had one "Why's that, Iwa-chan?"

"You know it's such a rare thing, there aren't many people that have destined mates or are lucky enough to find them," Iwaizumi looked like he had more to say but didn't know how to start, "Plus, I don't think I'm someone that a person would love no matter what, you know how rude I can be and all the other bad things about my personality" Iwaizumi said, as if it's nothing, like it's not something important, he didn't sound dramatic or self-pitying.

Oikawa might be partly at fault for Iwaizumi thinking like that, because he often whined about how rude Iwaizumi was, or how mean he is, but they were all jokes; after all Iwaizumi called him mean names and hit his head sometimes, but Oikawa knew Iwaizumi had a kind and very gentle heart, he is someone Oikawa could trust the most, Oikawa knew he would do everything for his friends, sometimes Oikawa even got jealous of how much Iwaizumi cared about other people. Like Oikawa wouldn't mind at all if Iwaizumi were to only care about him, it would be enough. Oikawa knew it was selfish of him, but he couldn't stop his feelings. "But I do, Iwa-chan? I do love you no matter how bad your personality is."

Iwaizumi looked at him with soft and loving eyes, Oikawa's heart almost stopped when he saw the look on Iwaizumi's face, he wasn't used to seeing Iwaizumi's soft and loving side at once, "The love I'm talking about is different to the one you're talking about Bakawa."

"No, it's not Iwa-chan," was what Oikawa wanted to say, but he didn't, he couldn't, how could he do it when he wasn't sure the love he had for Iwaizumi was what that type of love. He loved Iwaizumi for so long, he was the only one person he loved that much, that deeply, he didn't even know what kind of love it was.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

Oikawa extended his hand to Iwaizumi, "Please _trust me_ , Hajime." he took a step toward Iwaizumi making sure he was giving Iwaizumi enough space to make him feel safe, "Please have faith in me, in us. I know you think soulmates are everything, that it wouldn't work if there is no bond between two people, but you're wrong, you're so wrong and the proof is right before your eyes, your family is proof that you don't have to be mates to make a relationship work," Iwaizumi was looking at his eyes with a confused look, Iwaizumi has never thought his parents were a good couple, because it wasn't a loving marriage, he always thought they were two people that, out of logic, were together, "Hajime, your parents have been married for 25 years, they celebrated their 25th anniversary two weeks ago, they are still together, after 25 years and they don't seem like they will break up any time soon, if you asked me I'd say they'll be together for another 25 years."

Oikawa sighed, "but on the other hand, my parents who are soulmates, who can hear each other's thoughts, are getting a divorce," Oikawa could see Iwaizumi was surprised to hear about it, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, they've been talking about getting a divorce for months, my father moved out last month, that’s why you don't see him around lately, I didn't know how to tell you this because you thought a relationship wouldn't work if they weren't soulmates, and I was afraid of your reaction when you heard a relationship still couldn't work even if they were soulmates, but I hope you will understand that, Hajime, a simple bond won't make people soulmates, if you don't give time to your partner, if you don't give your %100 to your relationship it won't work, they thought they didn't need to get know each other because they could hear each other’s thoughts and understand what they wanted, what they needed... but Hajime, we already know that, don't we? I already know what you think, how do you feel without touching you, and it's the same for you. You can read me..."

Iwaizumi wanted to believe this so much, he wanted to believe every word Oikawa said withal his will, he didn't know Oikawa's parents relationship didn't work, Iwaizumi always thought they were happy and would be together always, if a couple would get a divorce it would be his parents, but it wasn't like that, not at all, was Iwaizumi that unaware about what was going on around him? People always call Iwaizumi dense, but Iwaizumi felt ignorant, he felt like he was too blind, too busy with his own problems, too busy pitying himself.

"I don't think that’s right, I can’t read you," Iwaizumi laughed but it sounded like a cry, "I didn't realize your feelings, I didn't realize your problems, it must’ve been very hard for you to see your parents like that, it must’ve been very hard for you to deal with their divorce because you always wanted a relationship like theirs."

"Yes Iwa-chan, I did, but when I was seven." Suddenly going back to calling him by the nickname he gave him made Iwaizumi feel both happy and sad. He was sad because he loved the way he said his name, Iwaizumi hadn't hear his name from Oikawa's lips for years and he kind of missed it, plus Oikawa was saying his name as if he was singing a beautiful love song, he was happy because after all Oikawa was the one who give him that nickname and he was only one person that was allow to call him by it. "It's not what I want now, it has not been what I want for years now," Oikawa took another step towards Iwaizumi, his right hand was still waiting for Iwaizumi to grab it, "What I want is you, what I need is you." Oikawa said, without even blushing a bit. He wasn't afraid of looking into Iwaizumi's eyes.

The closer Oikawa got to Iwaizumi, the louder his heartbeat got, Iwaizumi wonders if Oikawa could hear how loud his heartbeat was, "Are you ready? Will you let me touch you?" Oikawa asked again.

Iwaizumi knows if he reject Oikawa again, if he reject Oikawa after all these thing he told him, Oikawa will back off, he won't try again, or maybe ever, this would end and they wouldn't talk about it again, just like he was thinking a few minutes ago...."I'm afraid, Oikawa" Iwaizumi finally said aloud, "not only of this not working between us, but I'm also afraid of you, I'm afraid of how much I love you," Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa's hand, he still had doubts, he still had fears, but he wouldn't let go of this chance just because he was afraid. "I-..."

Oikawa didn't wait to hear what Iwaizumi was about to say as he closed the distance between them kissing him on the lips again, but this time the kiss was more passionate than before.

Iwaizumi was shaken by the sudden touch and he tried to back off, but Oikawa didn't let him go, leaning on, kissing him even more. His tongue was in Iwaizumi's mouth, it was becoming difficult to breathe for Iwaizumi, it wasn't his first kiss, but he wasn't used to tongue kisses, he did this kind of stuffs with only one person before, it didn't last long and it had been some time ago.

The sounds of their breathes was all Iwaizumi could hear, yet he couldn't help but wonder if Oikawa could hear his thoughts, he couldn't help wondering if Oikawa knew how much Iwaizumi waited for this kiss, how much he wanted it to be like this with Oikawa, how long he yearned for Oikawa.

Iwaizumi didn't know how this mind reading thing worked. He never listened when his teacher talked about soulmates, he didn't know how long you had to touch so you could read his mind, but he hoped Oikawa could read his mind right now, he hoped Oikawa knew how much Iwaizumi needed him, he hopes Oikawa heard the words that Iwaizumi could never voice.

Air was getting hot from their heavy breathing, it was getting hard to breathe for both of them, but it didn't seem like Oikawa was going to stop kissing him any time soon, he was kissing Iwaizumi as if he is running out of time, as if he didn't take as much as he could now then there wouldn't be a second change.

Good thing was they were all alone at home, or someone could have heard the noises they made for sure. Iwaizumi didn't even know a simply kissing could make that much noise.

Oikawa wasn't giving him any space, Iwaizumi's body was getting hot, his mind was becoming dizzy, but he still couldn't help and wonder if Oikawa was hearing his thoughts right now, their bodies were so close to each other’s, there wasn't even a bit of space between them, they could feel each other's bodies, and their body temperature, Oikawa hands were on Iwaizumi's waist and he was holding him tightly. Iwaizumi could feel his body getting even hotter; his face was probably as read as a tomato, he was lucky that Oikawa's eyes were close so he couldn't see how red his face was.

His mind became dizzy the longer Oikawa's tongue was inside of his month, his whole body was on fire, he wondered if it was the same for Oikawa too, he wondered if Oikawa's body was reacting in the same way too.

"Ha-ji-me." Oikawa whispered to his ears in a singing voice, "I want more of you," he was breathing into Iwaizumi's ears, his hot breath was making Iwaizumi's red ears turn a darker shade of red. "I want all of you."

Iwaizumi wasn't sure how to respond to this request, if you asked his body it had already given up since their lips met for the second time, but his mind still had some doubts, not because he was still thinking they wouldn't last long, that wasn’t the case at all, even if they didn't, Iwaizumi wanted this, he wants to try, but he didn't know what would happen to them if he lets Oikawa get under his skin now, he doesn't know if his body is ready for all this stuffs happening in one damn day.

Oikawa wasn't looking at Iwaizumi's eyes or face but he could feel Oikawa's eyes on himself, he was waiting for an answer, good or bad, he was waiting for an answer, "Yes..." his words sounded unreal even to his own ears, his voice sounded forced, his throat was kind of worn out from the kiss they shared a few seconds ago.

Oikawa's face turn red just like Iwaizumi's face did ages ago, he seemed like he couldn't believe Iwaizumi actually said yes, and he misheard his words, Oikawa was looking into his eyes and tried to understand if Iwaizumi really did mean it. "Are you sure?” Oikawa asked, he didn’t really want to give Iwaizumi time to second guess, because he knows he might change his mind and he didn't want that, but what Oikawa wanted the less was to do something Iwaizumi would regret later.

He might have said yes because of the heat of the moment, and not actually ready to take this step so suddenly. Iwaizumi didn't say anything, he only nodded his head meaning yes...

"Are you really sure, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked again, a simple nod may be enough for Iwaizumi but it wasn't for Oikawa, he needed to hear him saying yes again, he wanted to be sure this was also what Iwaizumi wanted.

"For fuck's sake, Shittykawa" Iwaizumi's true self was showing again, which was perfect, the Iwaizumi that Oikawa saw a few minutes ago wasn't the one that he was used to see and he never wanted to see that part of him ever again, he didn't want to see Iwaizumi in pain ever again, "Are you planning on making me beg?"

For a moment Oikawa imagined how it would be like to have Iwaizumi begging under him, asking for more, his flushed cheeks, it didn't sound so bad, in fact it was pretty good, Oikawa couldn't help but smirk at his own imagination. "Iwa-chan, you're such a pervert I never knew this, I'm speechless."

Iwaizumi looked at him with disgusted eyes, and Oikawa thought he ruined the whole mood "Calling me pervert when you have such a smirk on your ugly face."

"Iwa-chan, there is nothing bad about being a little perverted," Oikawa was again too close to Iwaizumi, he was close enough to hear Iwaizumi's heartbeats. "How can you blame me for having perverted thoughts when the person I've been in love with since forever is in my arms, in my house, and we're all alone, and is willing to go further with me."

Iwaizumi doesn't like this part of Oikawa, the part that knows well how to seduce people around him, Oikawa is the kind of person that could make someone fall for him without any effort and Iwaizumi wasn't an exception, the famous Oikawa-san spell was working on Iwaizumi too, just like in so many other people and Iwaizumi didn't like that, he didn't like being like the others, he didn't want to be like others.

"It's not the same with you," Oikawa said, he seemed offended, "I might sound like an asshole for saying this, but the people I went out with, the people I slept with, the people I flirt with... they don't hold a special place in my heart, none of them was able to reach my heart, but you on the other hand have been in my heart since I saw you."

"Save your cliché words for someone who’d buy them, dummy." Iwaizumi shrugged, "And I know what kind of asshole you are so damn well and it doesn't change anything."

"Iwa-chan has a surprisingly cute side~" Iwaizumi was praying that his face didn't look weird and that wasn't as red as it was before, cause Oikawa's eyes were all over him.

Iwaizumi was having an argument with himself if he should ask this question or not, but he had to know "Oikawa, did you just read my mind? You answered my question as if I was thinking loud?"

Now Iwaizumi's curious eyes were all over Oikawa, he sighed, "Iwa-chan, I don't need to read your mind to know what you're thinking I can read your body, I can read your face~"

Oikawa was obviously sassing him, but he looked like he meant every word, "Well then, can you tell what I'm thinking right now?" Iwaizumi asked with a defiant voice.

"Oh my, Iwa-chan wants to play? It's a first." Oikawa studied Iwaizumi's face, he looked very self-confident, "Iwa-chan is thinking if I still want to touch him? If I still want to hold him? If I still want to do it with him?"

Iwaizumi was literally stunned, Iwaizumi had to admit defeat and the fact that Oikawa knew him much better than Iwaizumi thought Oikawa did.

"Can I take as I guessed it right?" Oikawa asked, as if he already didn't know the answer.

"Yes, yes, you guessed right," Oikawa might know him well, but it's the same for Iwaizumi, "So, what are you gonna do now?"

Oikawa's proud smile faded away in less than a second, and his face was back to dark shades of red, "Do not provoke me, Iwa-chan."

"What if I do?" Iwaizumi asked.

"I don't know if I can control myself." Oikawa said.

"What if _I don’t want you to control yourself_?" Iwaizumi asked.

As soon as Iwaizumi finished his words, Oikawa didn't waste a moment and his lips were on Iwaizumi's, "Just don't regret this," he grabbed Iwaizumi's wrist and drag him to his room.

Oikawa’s room looked messy, and was chilly, before Iwaizumi could even ask Oikawa to close the window he pushed Iwaizumi over his bed, and undressed himself and Iwaizumi within seconds. They were both trembling, but it wasn’t because the room was chilly as their bodies were so hot they couldn't even feel the cold.

Oikawa was on top of Iwaizumi, leaning over his chest, "Iwa-chan's nipples are so pink, looks so cute," Iwaizumi suddenly feel Oikawa's tongue on his nipples, "looks so delicious." Oikawa was sucking, biting and licking his nipples over and over, Iwaizumi was trying so hard to hold his voice back.

Their bare bodies were touching each other, their bodies were getting heated up even more, then Oikawa took the lube and a condom from under his bed, this kind of made Iwaizumi pissed, Oikawa probably used them with many people before. The jealousy that grew up on his heart was showing on his face as well probably because Oikawa was paying attention to his face again.

"It's not what you're thinking," Oikawa said and he poured on his fingers some lube and he suddenly pushed one finger into Iwaizumi's hole.

"Ahh," Iwaizumi couldn't hold his voice back this time and cried out, he wasn't ready for the sudden touch, Oikawa was moving his finger inside of Iwaizumi's hole, down and up, right and left, he was trying to stretch his hole enough to put his cook in, "Nnn, Shittykawa, hahh, be gentle."

Oikawa added some more lube, he wanted to be inside him as soon as he could, he didn't know how much longer he could control himself, "Iwa-chan, is..." Oikawa didn't really want to know the answer, but he couldn't stop the curiosity that was eating him, “This is not your first time, is it?" Oikawa asked, even though he had a good guess he still asked.

Iwaizumi didn't know how to answer this question, there was only one answer, but it probably wasn't the one that Oikawa would want to hear, "No, it's not," Iwaizumi knows he shouldn't, but he felt like he did something wrong.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

Iwaizumi was a simple person, thought a relationship should be between two people that loved and cared about each other. But the world wasn't black and white, and his idea of a relationship would only be in fairy tales; in fact, not even in them these days.

When Oikawa started going out with a person that Iwaizumi didn't know anything about, he was so pissed, his jealousy was making him so angry and mad, all he wanted was to forget him, all he wanted was to get over him, and all he wanted was someone to make him forget about Oikawa.

And with that Iwaizumi had started going out with the first person that asked him out. He didn't let Oikawa and this person meet, he knew that if Oikawa knew about this person he would make a big fuss about it, or maybe would never forgive Iwaizumi for going out him with him, he just let Oikawa know that he was in a relationship, and Oikawa didn't ask anything to Iwaizumi. It was something so unexpected, he thought Oikawa would ask him tons of questions but Oikawa didn't, not even once.

 

                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

Oikawa pulled his finger out of Iwaizumi's hole. Iwaizumi groaned, he felt empty without his fingers, his body needed more, he wanted more, in fact he was longing for something bigger than Oikawa's long and thin fingers, he leaned over Iwaizumi's back and he kissed his forehead gently, "it's okay, I'm not bothered by it, so please don't make this kind of face."

"Then stop playing around and put it in already," Iwaizumi's body was shivering with lust, his body wanted Oikawa so bad, so distinctly, so painfully, "I can't stand it anymore," Iwaizumi begged.

Seeing Iwaizumi's flushed face and his body begging for his touch was making Oikawa loose his mind. In fact, Iwaizumi didn't even have to beg, Oikawa had already reached his limit long ago, and with this, Oikawa slowly pushed his cook into Iwaizumi's little hole.

 

  
                                                                                                                                      ||~~*~~||

 

Everything after Oikawa put his cook into Iwaizumi's hole was fuzzy, Iwaizumi's mind went blank, he doesn't even remember much about what happened, all he remembers are his embarrassing and loud noises that made him lose his voice, and how incredibly handsome Oikawa looked.

It's was passed 16:30 p.m. when they both woke up from a long nap, they both were pretty worn out after five rounds without stopping. Iwaizumi's whole body was in pain, his lower half was crying in pain, but on the other hand Oikawa woke up with a big smile on his face.

As soon as Oikawa opened his eyes, he moved closer to Iwaizumi, kissing his neck where a dark shade of red formed a bite mark, they almost fucked like animals, and Oikawa bite Iwaizumi's neck as if he was marking Iwaizumi as his.

"Are you okay?" Oikawa asked, even though he had a feeling he shouldn't open his mouth.

"You even dare to ask me that?" Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a frightening look that made Oikawa wish he had never opened his mouth.

Iwaizumi attempted to get up and take his clothes from the floor where Oikawa had thrown them, Oikawa sighed, it wasn't exactly how he imagined it would be like after their first time, Oikawa didn't want to give up easily after all, he had asked Iwaizumi over and over again if he wanted this. He grabbed Iwaizumi's wrist and pull him close him to himself.

"Iwa-chan’s being so rude," Oikawa said while pouting, Iwaizumi wasn't looking at Oikawa's face, Oikawa was holding Iwaizumi in his arms, " _After all Iwa-chan was crying out my name while asking for more_ ," Oikawa thought.

Iwaizumi's ears flushed after he heard that, "What the hell are you even talking about? Do you want to die?" Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa looked Iwaizumi confused eyes, "Iwa-chan, how did my simple words about you being rude, which is true by the way, made you angry?"

"That is not what I'm angry about, you know why I'm angry," Iwaizumi said, with Oikawa's personality, him saying those kind of words to Iwaizumi's face wasn't surprising, but him acting like he didn't said it pretty much was.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Iwa-chan." Oikawa said, he looked like he seriously didn't know and it was making Iwaizumi even madder.

"I'm talking about the things you said about how I was crying out your name while asking for more" Iwaizumi couldn't believe he actually said those words; if it had been possible to die from embarrassment, Iwaizumi would have died right away.

Oikawa's face was no different from Iwaizumi's, but he was still smiling like an idiot, as if he heard some good news. Iwaizumi wonder if this was Oikawa's plan all long.

"Iwa-chan I didn't said those words," Oikawa said.

"Yes, you did?" Iwaizumi didn't get what kind of game it was, but he didn't like it.

"Iwa-cha, I didn't say those words, I thought them," Oikawa said,

"Wh---" Iwaizumi thought he misheard Oikawa's words, because it wasn't possible, something like this wasn't possible, "Are you telling me...?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Yes, Iwa-chan, I'm telling you _we're soulmates_." Oikawa said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally the last chapter is here!!! I'm sorry for being late, I thought about writing smut or not too much and end up with this way. Thank you so much for kudos and commets. I hope y'all did like this fic.
> 
> My next fic will be one of fics of the list I'm still not sure which one I should write so if someone has any request I'm all ears
> 
> I wish y'all an amazing day, stay well ~

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to Taitsu for helping me once again


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